Grief – Coping with loss, death and dying

Loss in life is often a precursor of grief. It happens at some time to most of us. Don’t be stubborn and attempt to cope on your own. You don’t have to do so and you will ease your burden if you choose to share it. However only you can choose to make that decision. Of course, relatives, friends and neighbours can be a valuable source of support but sometimes it is useful to have help from a third party who is removed and not themeselves directly affected by the grief causing event. Below are some links to those who can help.

Your loss may be the death of a loved one but, just as dramatically can be loss caused by a break-up of a close relationship, separation through distance or divergent growth & directions of partners or friends. There are many causes and the effect on an individual, family or group can be just as devastating whether it is caused by the finality or death or another event that, on the surfcace, might not be thought of as so dramatic.

As difficult as it may be when you are engulfed and over-whelmed by sadness, mourning or despair, it is important that you do your best to realise that, however hard it seems to believe at the time, it is time that will allow you to heal and come to terms with your loss. It may never reduce or eliminate your feelings and nor should it necessarily do so but it will, if you allow it the chance, replenish your equanimity and allow you to see positives in your life again.

Most importantly, to the extent that you can, avoid focusing on ‘your’ loss and try, instead, to focus on the time you had together with whoever has gone. I know that it may sound trite or cliche, but it really will help to remember the good times, the small things, the idiosyncracies and habits or quirks of the person you’ve lost and be grateful that you had the privilege to know and spend time with them.

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“As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us.” ~ Sascha

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USEFUL RESOURCES

Talking to kids about death

Preparing for the Death of a Terminally-Ill Loved One: What to Expect, and How to Help the Entire Family Move Forward

Letting Children Share in Grief

The Bereaved Employee: Returning to Work

How to Create a Peaceful At-Home Hospice for Your Loved One

Keeping the Peace While Settling a Family Estate

5 Things You Must Know as the Executor of an Estate

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